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Heavenly Humor…
An Angel appeared at a faculty meeting and told the dean that in return for their unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord would reward them with their choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selected infinite wisdom. “Done!” said the Angel and disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Then all heads turned toward the dean who sat surrounded by a faint halo of light. The dean seemed stunned and shocked as a cloud of silence encompassed the room. One of the colleagues leaned over and whispered, “Say something.” The dean, now filled with infinite wisdom said, “I should have taken the money.”
Carrying three pieces of luggage, a young lady walked up to the airport check-in counter and requested, “I want the first piece to go to Cleveland, the second to go to Toronto and this last piece of luggage to go to Florida. The agent said, “I’m sorry, we can’t do that.” The young lady swiftly replied, “Last month you did it.”
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set out by their contract. The next day at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held aloft the morning newspaper, “This man,” he announced as he pointed at the paper, “called in sick yesterday!” There on the sports page was a photo of the supposedly ill employee who had just won a local golf tournament. Finally, the union negotiator broke the silence in the room. “Wow!” he said. “Just think—he might have broken the course record if he hadn’t been sick!”
Two men were down on their luck and decided to paint houses to earn some extra money. To start their business, they asked the minister of a local church if he would be interested in their services. He agreed, and the men went out to buy the paint. As they drove to the paint store, they decided that they would mix half paint and half water to try to increase their profits. When they finished the job, they called the minister outside to look at their work. “It looks wonderful,” the minister said. As he started to hand them the check, a small rain cloud appeared. All at once, there was lightning and thunder and the church area was drenched with rain. As the rain hit, the new church paint started running. Suddenly the three of them stood there in disbelief as a voice from above roared, “Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!”
"An employee went to the payroll department to complain that his check was $10 short. “But our records show that you were overpaid $10 last week,” the cashier responded, “and you didn’t complain.” The worker replied, “An occasional mistake I can overlook, but not two in a row.”
Things to do at Thanksgiving…
When everyone at the table takes turns saying what they are thankful for, say, “I’m thankful I didn’t get caught,” and refuse to say anything more.
An Angel appeared at a faculty meeting and told the dean that in return for their unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord would reward them with their choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selected infinite wisdom. “Done!” said the Angel and disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Then all heads turned toward the dean who sat surrounded by a faint halo of light. The dean seemed stunned and shocked as a cloud of silence encompassed the room. One of the colleagues leaned over and whispered, “Say something.” The dean, now filled with infinite wisdom said, “I should have taken the money.”
Carrying three pieces of luggage, a young lady walked up to the airport check-in counter and requested, “I want the first piece to go to Cleveland, the second to go to Toronto and this last piece of luggage to go to Florida. The agent said, “I’m sorry, we can’t do that.” The young lady swiftly replied, “Last month you did it.”
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set out by their contract. The next day at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held aloft the morning newspaper, “This man,” he announced as he pointed at the paper, “called in sick yesterday!” There on the sports page was a photo of the supposedly ill employee who had just won a local golf tournament. Finally, the union negotiator broke the silence in the room. “Wow!” he said. “Just think—he might have broken the course record if he hadn’t been sick!”
Two men were down on their luck and decided to paint houses to earn some extra money. To start their business, they asked the minister of a local church if he would be interested in their services. He agreed, and the men went out to buy the paint. As they drove to the paint store, they decided that they would mix half paint and half water to try to increase their profits. When they finished the job, they called the minister outside to look at their work. “It looks wonderful,” the minister said. As he started to hand them the check, a small rain cloud appeared. All at once, there was lightning and thunder and the church area was drenched with rain. As the rain hit, the new church paint started running. Suddenly the three of them stood there in disbelief as a voice from above roared, “Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!”
"An employee went to the payroll department to complain that his check was $10 short. “But our records show that you were overpaid $10 last week,” the cashier responded, “and you didn’t complain.” The worker replied, “An occasional mistake I can overlook, but not two in a row.”
Things to do at Thanksgiving…
When everyone at the table takes turns saying what they are thankful for, say, “I’m thankful I didn’t get caught,” and refuse to say anything more.
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